In the final part in this series, Travis Robertson covers outcome pain, or the “fear of success”. It’s the fear of the grass not being greener once you get to the other side. See, many people are willing to put in the effort and hard work to achieve success, but they are afraid of what that success entails. However, if you use ‘stick strategies’ to maintain your new habits, systems and processes, your chances of relapsing will instantly decrease. Focus not only on the effort of getting to where you want to go, but building the strategies that are going to allow you to maintain it!
Overcoming Fear Part 3 – Outcome Pain
As I mentioned in the first video, we are only born with 2 fears hardwired into us. That’s it. The fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. Every other fear we have is a learned fear meaning that we can unlearn it. So if we can unlearn it, we have to understand how to identify the fear and then ultimately how to attack the fear or how to counteract that fear. That will allow us to move past it and it will no longer hold us back from achieving the big goals or dreams that we have for our business or for our life.
Loss Pain – It’s the fear of the pain that may come from losing something that we value in the pursuit of something else.
This is the fear of the outcome or “fear of success”. More often than not, this fear presents itself in a couple of different ways. #1 is this:
“what happens if I go through this process, go through this pain and go through this hardship, and I achieve everything that I say that I want, only to get to the other side and find out the grass ain’t really greener? What do I do then if I say that I want to make more money in my business, and I do it, but I’m no better off and I’m not enjoying my business any more and I’m not enjoying my life any more and I don’t have any more money at the end of the year than I thought, what was the point?”
It could also be the reoccurring thought of “what if I do all of this and I get there, and I achieve what I say I want, only to relapse and not allow it to stick?” It’s that fear of the success being too much to handle or too much for you to deal with on an ongoing basis. You’re afraid people are going to see you as somebody who achieved something only to fail to maintain it.
How do we deal with this?
The first thing we need to understand is that this requires stick strategies. Because what we’re really afraid of is not being able to maintain it and not being able to have something that we enjoy. We need to understand that what we need to do as we’re building the business, as we’re moving towards the goal, we need to start creating new habits, processes and systems that are going to allow us to stick with what we have so that we don’t relapse. Make sense?
If you know that you want to lose weight, you have to start building a habit or routine into your life so that it becomes a part of what you do and you have a way of making it stick beyond just the initial weight loss goal. It’s the same in business.
If you want to get to half of a million dollars in income, you know that you’re going to need a certain level of systems and support and teams and processes to not only get to $500,000 but to ultimately maintain it and maybe even grow beyond there. However, if all you do is just push and push and push and work harder and harder and harder to get $500,000, you can do it, but at the end of the year, you aren’t going to be able to maintain it because you didn’t put any of the other foundation in place that allows you to repeat it.
You’ve got to focus on not just the effort of getting where you want to go, but building the stick strategies that are going to allow you to maintain it. That’s one thing you need to do.
The other thought many people have is “what happens if I get there and the grass isn’t really greener on the other side?” We need to understand is that it’s not so much about the destination that we’re headed, it’s about who we are becoming on the journey towards that destination. You see, what that usually means is that we’ve assumed that making more money is going to make us happier or losing more weight is going to make us happier. And while it can certainly contribute to the quality of life that we have, by itself it’s not going to make us happy. Instead what we need to understand is that the person we become in the pursuit of the goal is ultimately what we’re going to find the most pride in.
Look, I know a lot of people that make a tremendous amount of money and who’ve had an enormous amount of success in their business and in their life. But they’ll be the first ones to tell you that it’s not about the money, it’s about who they became in the pursuit of that. They understood how to test themselves, how to challenge themselves and they started to realize that they are capable of more than they ever gave themselves credit for.
You could take all the money away from them, and you could take all the toys, all the boats, all the cars, all the planes, and they could rebuild it almost overnight. They know what they are capable of because what they value more than anything else is not the money, not the toys, not the destination, but the person they became on the road to the journey.
We just need to change the way that we view it and realize that it’s about who I’m becoming. It’s about building the strategies and the systems and the support to make sure that not only can I get there once, but I can repeat it over and over and over and actually grow from there and take it to a whole other level when I’m ready to do it.
I believe in every single one of you to be able to overcome these three different areas of pain, these three different areas of fear that almost every pain that we have or every fear that we have is categorized into. Loss pain being the first one, hardship pain being the second one, and that fear of the outcome being the last. You are not born with these fears, you’ve learned them and you can unlearn them.
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