One of the greatest benefits of blogging is getting emails and comments from readers. It’s extremely encouraging and I’m so grateful for everyone who takes time out of their day to read this blog. It’s also really cool when I receive an email from readers in other countries.

I don’t usually share the emails on the blog for a number of reasons. Often, the note is personal in nature or the reader didn’t feel like having it broadcast to the world. I respect that. Today, I received the email below from a reader in Saudi Arabia (how cool is that?!) and was so encouraged and inspired by it that I had to share it along with my response. I’ve left the sender’s name out in case he/she doesn’t want to be named publicly.

The advice is really about how to win in business. It doesn’t matter what path you’re on, I believe these principles apply to everyone.

If you have any additional advice that you would like to add to it, please share in the comments below! I’d love to hear what you would have responded with.

Dear Travis,

I Hope this email finds you well.

My Name is [redacted], Egyptian living and working in Saudi Arabia. I’m a huge fan of your “career path” and I would love to take the same pass, Although, the resources where I live are very limited. I currently work as a Digital Media Manager in a multi-national company and I’m also a PHP developer.

I have some key questions and I believe you have the right answers. My question is how to be like you, to have the same career path, where should I start? What should I study? What are the keys that would allow me to be a good successful business developer and be able to set good business strategies? I actually have so many questions but those are enough for one email

Thank you very much for you time,
Best Regards,

[Redacted]

Hi [Redacted],

First, I want to sincerely thank you very much for your email. It was very special and I am very grateful that you sent it to me.

Second, I think it’s awesome that you want to head down the path of being a business strategist and business developer! It’s an exciting path and, if you really enjoy it, you’ll figure out the best way to make it work for you. While I’m not very familiar with your culture and business climate, I will try to offer you some advice that I believe transcends geography and culture. I hope this helps to get you started on the right path.

Business is all about relationships – we conduct business with people we trust and like. Become the type of person who people trust and people like. That’s the very first step. After that, everything you do should be about helping other people and helping businesses grow. If you have family or friends who are in business, offer to help them find ways of improving their business. At first, you may need to offer them an introductory rate for your services. That’s okay. Ask them if they would be willing to give you a testimonial that you can use on your website as well as refer you to others who may need your services.

Tell people what you are doing and how you can help them. Attend events in your area. When people ask you what you do, don’t tell them that you’re a business developer. Instead, tell them that you help your clients grow amazing businesses (or something similar). Their natural response will be to want to know more and they will invite you to explain your statement. That’s when you can communicate how you do it and tell them more about what you do.

If you are interested in going to school, enroll in business courses. However, I think you can learn a lot more from reading business books. There are some great authors and that is where I learn more than anything else. If you’re interested in which books I recommend, visit this link: http://travisrobertson.com/book-shelf. It has a list of many of the books I’ve read and I continue to update it with more all the time.

I believe this is far more valuable than a university education. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue an education at university. It simply means that your education should not stop once you leave university. You should always be learning and growing. The truth is that I have learned more from the books that I have read than all of my schooling combined.

Much of what I’ve learned about business, I’ve also learned through experience. I study successful businesses to see what makes them successful. I study unsuccessful businesses to understand what makes them unsuccessful. I’ve also worked for both types of businesses and took on leadership roles wherever I could.

I also recommend that you consider sharing your thoughts and ideas on a blog. It’s a great way to demonstrate your understanding of various topics and build credibility within your community. Your clients want to know that you have the ability to understand their needs and provide them with the best ideas and suggestions for their business.

Blogging is a form of teaching. It will help you form your thoughts and ideas more clearly. I always learn more when I have to teach something than when I simply learn for understanding or information. Teaching forces your brain to simplify, synthesize and clarify concepts and information. Blogging is just one of the ways to do this. You could also teach classes and speak at local groups and events.

The final suggestion I would make is to learn to listen for people’s real needs. Often, people and businesses you are working with either don’t understand what they really need or they don’t know how to ask for it. In order to be successful at helping others, you need to be a keen observer and develop the ability to hear the question that isn’t asked. Listen to what people are saying, but also try to “hear” what isn’t being said. This is a skill, but the person who masters it will set themselves apart from others.

I have no doubt that you will be successful on this path. Please let me know if I can help you in any other way.

Sincerely,
Travis

Share Your Advice

What advice would you give this reader? I’d love to have you share it in the comments below.

Words can’t express how excited I am today.

Today is the official launch of DontSettle.org – a new project I’ve been working on.

Over the past couple of months, you might have noticed the phrase “Don’t Settle” creeping into this site’s blog posts and (eventually) onto it’s own page. The slow release of the message has been intentional. You see, I’ve known that those two words have resonated with me because I live my life by them. My wife Lisa and I make decisions with that phrase in mind. We ask ourselves if, in the course of choosing a particular path, we would be “settling” for average or mediocre. If so, we don’t do it.

What I didn’t know, however, is if “Don’t Settle” would resonate with others. To find out, I could have written a big blog post called “Don’t Settle” but I chose not to (until now) because I wanted to see if the message cut through. Did those two words scream louder in the minds and hearts of readers more than any of the other words surrounding them?

The answer has been a resounding “Yes!”

As a result, I’m launching DontSettle.org. The site will be focused on equipping and empowering you to create a life you don’t want to escape from – to build a life in which you DON’T SETTLE. There are a lot of things planned for the next few months and I would like to invite you join the DON’T SETTLE movement.

The site is young and it’s early in the process – but what better time to get involved? The message can only spread and the community can only grow with your help. And that’s what I’d like to ask you for.

How You Can Help

If you’re ready to join the DON’T SETTLE movement and create a life you don’t want to escape from, there are a few ways to get involved and help:

1. Visit DontSettle.org and subscribe the RSS feed or subscribe via email. (If you’re reading this via email, you’ll have to visit the site directly.)
2. Join DON’T SETTLE on Facebook and then invite your friends to join us.
3. Friend up DON’T SETTLE on Twitter and tweet about the site. (Click here to make that really easy.)
4. Share the site on your favorite bookmarking website (StumbleUpon, Delicious, Digg, Reddit, etc.)
5. Let me know what you’d like to see from the site. How can I help you on your journey to live a life in which you DON’T SETTLE?
6. Consider guest posting. If you’re a blogger, or if you feel like you have something to add, visit the site’s Guest Post page to find out how to contribute.

Your encouragement and support has been so valuable to me and I can’t build this next phase without your help. It would mean a tremendous amount to me and to the lives of others if you would help spread the word using one or more of the methods above.

A Quick Note on the Future of TravisRobertson.com

TravisRobertson.com isn’t going anywhere. In fact, I’ve got some great new things planned for it. I will continue to post 2-3 times per week here and I will be introducing some new content (and content types) over the coming months.

The primary focus for TravisRobertson.com will continue to be small business strategy, entrepreneurship, and leadership. They are the core elements that have built this site and I intend to develop those themes more fully.

As a result, there are simply a lot of topics that don’t fit within the defined scope of this site and needed a home. I had to choose whether I would expand the scope of TravisRobertson.com or if it was time to launch something different. After much consideration and counsel from others, I decided to create DontSettle.org.

Share Your Thoughts

I’d love to hear your thoughts either on this site or on DontSettle.org about the new direction. What would you like to see from both sites moving forward? How can I better serve you?

Thanks again for everything!

DON’T SETTLE!
Travis

I’ve had an insanely busy week. As a result, I’ve completely dropped the ball on writing a blog post this week. When I sat down to write, I was reminded of a question I heard recently.

The question?

What would you do in your life if you were absolutely confident that you would succeed?

And then it hit me. This is a great opportunity to try an idea I’ve had for a while – an open discussion. I spend a lot of time on this blog expounding on ideas. That makes sense since it’s my blog.

But what I really love is the dialogue and the conversation with you. So I want us to try an open discussion in the comments around a single question. It could bomb since it’s possible nobody will respond, but who cares? I also don’t know how often we’ll do these. However, this week seems like a great week to try it.

So, in the comment section at the bottom of this page, answer this question: What would you do in your life if you were absolutely confident that you would succeed? It could be anything. Just have at it – no restrictions.

To get the party kicked off, here’s my answer:

I would stop procrastinating on an e-book I’ve been working on and get it finished. I believe it can and will succeed, I’m just in the self-doubt phase of the project where I question everything about it. This is also why I have a team of fellow entrepreneurs I meet with on a weekly basis to hold my feet to the fire. I’ll no doubt hear about this on Monday.

What would you do?

Photo credit: Stuck In Customs

I’m in the process of overhauling my business. When you’re in start-up mode, things change – a lot. But you get used to it.

Unfortunately, things changed so drastically for me that I had to call into question my original vision of what I was trying to build. That’s when I realized that my vision for my life needed some serious work. This week has been a focus on resetting my vision and my goals in light of new information and insights. If you feel like life isn’t turning out how you expected, I suggest you do the same.

Don’t wait until the new year to set a bunch of useless resolutions. Set a big vision for your life, create your goals, make a plan, and go after it. Right now.

“Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I’ll give you a stock clerk.” – J.C. Penny

So how do you create better goals? Here’s a high-level overview of the process I use. There’s much more to my process, but this should help you get a great start. If you feel like you need help, keep reading to the bottom of the post for how you can get a free 30-minute consult with me.

Step 1 – Begin with the End in Mind

I’ve written on legacy before and I’m a big believer in having huge dreams for your life. What are you trying to create? What legacy do you want to leave to your family? How do you want to be remembered by the people you loved or worked with?

“Where there is no vision, the people perish” – Proverbs 29:18

Be as detailed in this phase as possible. I’m currently only working on the business aspect of my vision as it’s changed so much since the beginning of the year. I cast a vision that was about two pages long for just my company (I went out 20 years). The more detailed it is, the more capable you’ll be of working backwards.

Areas you should cast a vision for:

• Career
• Financial
• Spiritual
• Family
• Spouse (Create a whole category for them if you want a strong marriage.)
• Health/Physical
• Intellectual/Education/Growth
• Friendships

Step 2 – Work Backwards to Shorter Time Frames

Once you know where you want to be, it will become much clearer which steps you’ll need to take along your journey. Some people get really intense with this part and do 10-year, 5-year, 3-year, 1-year, 6-month, 3-month, 1-month, and weekly plans.

I’m not that person. I first list out major milestones for what I want to accomplish. Then I put them in the following ranges:

• 1 Year or Less
• 2-5 Years
• 5+ Years

After you’ve set your ranges, make sure you don’t have too much in your “1 Year or Less” category. By all means, be aggressive. Just don’t be unrealistic. If your long term vision is to have a nest egg of $5 Million dollars, don’t put “Save $250,000″ in the first year if you’re starting from $0. Unless you make a lot more than that or are a drug dealer, this won’t happen.

Step 3 – Get Specific With Your 1-Year Plan

Do you know why I hate New Year’s Resolutions? They’re arbitrary and they don’t really bring about change. We all know this, but so many people create them anyway in an effort to feel better about themselves.

Here’s an alternative: take your 1-year goals and map them out over the year. For example, if you want to start a business in the next year, figure out what steps you’ll need to take and the order you’ll need to do them in. For example, you can’t (or shouldn’t) quit your job without first lining up some clients. Don’t try to do it all in a single month. Here’s what it might look like:

• January: Write out vision for the company and discuss it with my spouse. Create a household budget. Create a quickie business plan.
• February: Launch a simple website/blog and let friends and family know what I’m doing. Ask for referrals. File legal documents.
• March: Speak at 3 clubs or events that have members in your target audience. Have 1 month of expenses saved in an emergency fund.
• April: Speak at 2 clubs or events that have members in your target audience. Offer a new service to your existing/previous clients.
• And on it goes…

Be realistic with your time and the steps you need to take. These are obviously just examples and your steps and time frames may be substantially different.

Step 4 – Create Weekly or Daily Action Items

Now you know what you need to do each month, right? So create your weekly or daily action list that will propel you forward toward each step along the path.

This is where most people fail. It’s where I can go wrong if I’m not careful. We don’t control our schedules and our time. We aren’t deliberate. Therefore, it’s our schedule that controls us. We become victims of time.

“Don’t confuse activity with action.” – Zig Ziglar

Life is busy so make sure that what you’re working on is what you should be doing, not just on the tyranny of the urgent.

Step 5 – Decide What You’re Willing to Sacrifice

Balance is a myth. There’s no such thing. If you want to rapidly lose weight, you have to give up sugary sweets. If you want to slowly lose weight, you just have to give up some of it. Either way, you’ll need to sacrifice – it just comes down to how much you’re willing to give up. You can’t “balance” a healthy body with an unhealthy diet.

Decide going into what you’re willing to sacrifice. If you want to start a business, plan to sacrifice some sleep, some evenings, and some weekends with your family – at least for a phase.

Prepare everyone for this. Talk with your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, etc. Make sure you all agree to healthy boundaries. Monday through Saturday are generally work days for me. For my own sanity, for my marriage, and for my health I don’t work on Sundays. An exception might be if we have a function on Saturdays that I feel is important to attend. However, I’ve chosen to sacrifice more “optional” functions as well.

Step 6 – Review Your Goals and Vision Weekly

I screwed this up big time this year. Had I been doing this, I would have caught some course correction a lot earlier and saved myself some frustration (and some money).

Review your vision and goals at least once per month. I’ve now included a weekly review of both my vision and my 1-year goals to make sure they still align with what I’m trying to build. I’d rather correct frequently and slightly than rarely and drastically.

What Makes a Good Goal?

A good goal will have the following characteristics:

• It will be in writing. If you type it, print them out and keep them where you can see them. We all have those documents we’ve created on our computer and that are lost in some random folder.
• It will be specific. Don’t create the goal “Start a business.” That sucks. Be specific about what type of business you’ll create.
• It will be measurable. If you can’t tell if you reached a goal, you set the wrong goal. “Start a business” is a bad goal because you don’t really need to do anything measurable. “Land my first client” is a measurable goal. “Start a business” is little more than a vague vision.
• It will be time sensitive. Set a date for when a goal will be reached. Be aggressive yet realistic. I’ve heard it said you should create goals that will require you to execute and God to show up. Works for me.
• It will move you closer to your vision. If it doesn’t apply to your long term vision from the first step, you need to question whether it’s a good goal. You should be able to clearly articulate to someone why accomplishing this goal will get you closer to your vision.

Get a Free 30-Minute Goal Setting Session

Because I believe so strongly in the idea of creating big goals in life, I’d like to help 5 readers get started on their journey for free. Here’s how you can be one of them:

1. Leave a comment below telling me about your biggest frustration(s) with goal setting and why you’d like help creating a plan.
2. Link to this post on Twitter or “Like” this post on Facebook.
3. On Saturday, October 30, I will contact 5 people by email for a free 30-minute phone consult. That’s it! Whether you are selected or not, you will hear from me personally so you’re not waiting around wondering.

So, let’s hear it! What’s been keeping you from setting bigger goals in your life? Leave a comment below!

“How’s it going?” I asked my dad as I entered the garage. He’d spent all morning cleaning it out so we could pull the boats in for the winter.

“Oh, fine,” he replied sounding exasperated and tired. “Look at this,” he continued holding up some tool that appeared to be either some type of hand saw or a torture device.

“What is it?” I asked. Anybody who knows me also knows that I’m the least handy person in the world. It’s actually a joke among friends and family. I usually ask my wife Lisa to fix stuff. Or my brother if he’s in the area.

“I don’t know. It looks like some sort of hand saw,” he said making the motion he assumed one would make if using the thing. “It was one of my dad’s tools.” He looked at it a second longer, chuckled half-heartedly, then tossed the saw into a bucket that was piled with more tools I couldn’t name (let alone use).

He must have seen me staring at the bucket because he went on to tell me that he was finally going through all of his dad’s tools and would either find someone to gift them to or he’d just throw them out.

It wasn’t until later that evening, in a conversation with my mom, that the gravity of this struck me. She explained that, as a kid, my dad wasn’t allowed to touch these tools. Doing so would elicit a beating. Even as an adult, my grandfather wasn’t fond of him going near them. Now, five or so years after my grandfather’s death, my dad was touching the very things that were so important to his dad – but he was getting rid of them.

This was part of the legacy my grandfather left. I loved my grandfather, but this is a lousy legacy.

Will Your Legacy Fit in a Trash Can?

I wrestled with this thought over the following days. I actually outlined this post a couple of weeks ago – two days after this conversation. But I’ve been sitting on it because it’s so personal. And painful.

And important.

You see, we all leave a legacy. Some are painful. Some are sad. Others are forgettable. A select few are great. My dad’s legacy will be great.

I also want to leave a great legacy – one that can’t be piled into a bucket and thrown away. But great legacies don’t just happen. Great legacies are made through intentional dreaming, turned into goals, which then lead to action.

If you don’t intentionally create your legacy, what you leave to your kids and grandkids will be little more than a collection of “things” that fit in a trash can and act as a reminder to people of a life not lived with purpose and intention.

If you’re still breathing, it’s not too late to change the legacy you’ll leave behind. We can’t undo the past, but we can take responsibility for it and take corrective and deliberate action for the future.

So what are the warning signs that you’re creating a legacy that will end up in a trash can?

Warning #1 – You Think Your Legacy is About You

You’re going to die. If your legacy is about you, it will die with you. Leaving a legacy is about impacting the lives of those you come in contact with (for better or worse) so that they carry a part of you forward. The sooner you understand that legacy is about relationships, the more time you will have to impact the relationships that matter most.

I’ve ranked mine as follows: Lisa (wife), kids (whenever they come – it’s a placeholder ), parents, family, friends, business partners/clients/audience. The steps I take to make a positive impact on those relationships will vary. But one thing is for sure, if at any point those relationships become about me, I will cease building a legacy that’s great.

Warning #2 – You Don’t Begin With the End

In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey wrote, “Begin with the end in mind.” This is sound advice for those who want to leave a great legacy. Most people never spend time thinking about how they want to be remembered by the ones they most cared about after they’re gone.

But this is exactly where you need to start. What do you want your spouse to remember about you? What about your kids? Your friends? Your business partners and clients? The list goes on. If you don’t know how you want to be remembered, you won’t know where you’re going and how to get there.

A map is useless without a destination.

Warning #3 – You Don’t Honestly Evaluate Where You Are

A map is also useless if you don’t know where you are – even if you do know where you want to go. This takes a level of self-honesty that most people find too painful. If you’re not willing to take an honest look at the mistakes you’ve made and the person you are, you’ll never become the person you say you want to be.

This also isn’t about piling on the shame and guilt. It’s about admitting where you’ve fallen short, asking for forgiveness where necessary, and making different decisions moving forward. Some people will have longer roads to travel than others. However, the reward for those who do this step is greater than you can imagine.

Warning #4 – You Don’t Create Goals

If you don’t have goals, you won’t leave a great legacy. Once you know where you want to go and where you are, you have to create goals that will get you to your destination.

There is a vast difference between dreams and goals. Dreams usually sound like this: “One day, I hope to start my own business.” I’m sorry, but, “hope” doesn’t get you anywhere – action does. Businesses don’t just happen. Legacies don’t just happen. Relationships don’t just happen. Money doesn’t just materialize in the bank. You have to make it happen.

So what are you doing to make things happen?

Goals are actionable steps you can measure that move you closer to your dream. You need to always have a set of goals that you’re working on every day. Then constantly review and update them to make sure they’re still in alignment with what you ultimately want out of life.

Warning #5 – You Don’t Take Risks

Creating a great legacy will require taking some risks. I’m not necessarily referring to skydiving or entrepreneurship – though these are certainly fine risks for some people. I’m talking about risks that are personal to you. Books aren’t written about people who “played it safe.” Stories aren’t told at family reunions about “safe” Uncle Joe. Yet so many people play it safe.

Why? Because of fear. What we fail to realize is that there is healthy fear and unhealthy fear. If we don’t distinguish one from the other, we act as if all fear is the same. It’s not.

Fear can be a good thing. Hold a gun to my head, and I’ll be afraid. Hold a gun to Lisa’s head, and I’ll be afraid. In these types of situations, fear is a healthy response intended to heighten our senses and keep us alive.

Unfortunately, fear also pops up every time I’m about to hit “Publish” on one of my blog posts. Every. Single. Time. What if nobody likes my post? What if nobody reads it? What if it causes everyone to unsubscribe? I’ll never get another chance. And on and on it goes. This is irrational and unhealthy fear that many call F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real.

I don’t know who coined the acronym, but I love what Brian Clark wrote about F.E.A.R. is his post titled Is F.E.A.R. Holding You Back?:

F.E.A.R. is an illusion. Something we fabricate in our own minds and pretend is real. It’s a fairy tale we tell ourselves that keeps us from doing what we really want.

Did you catch that? It keeps us from doing what we really want. We often use F.E.A.R. as a signal for what we shouldn’t do rather than as an indicator for precisely what we should do. In reality, we’re confusing the feelings of fear and anxiety. What you’re really feeling when you think you feel fear is anxiety.

I don’t know if that feeling ever goes away. I know that, for me, it hasn’t. Truthfully, I kind of hope it doesn’t. Not because I enjoy the feeling (I don’t). But because it reminds me that I’m pushing myself and testing my limits. And that’s what real risk is – the kind that allows you to build a great legacy. If you continue to push and test your limits in spite of the F.E.A.R., you will be that much closer to leaving a legacy you can be proud of.

Warning #6 – You Settle

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you may have noticed a phrase appearing in more of my posts. The phrase? “Don’t Settle.” In fact, it’s now become my mission statement for this blog and for my life. My goal is to help people get to the point in their lives where they don’t settle any longer for a mediocre and average existence. We were created for a purpose. We were created to do great things.

Unfortunately, too many of us settle for far less than what we’re capable of. It’s easier to settle. It’s easier to give in to the F.E.A.R. It’s difficult to wake up and live every day and evaluate every decision with the idea that you won’t settle.

But it’s what you must do if you want to leave a legacy that is great.

Your spouse, your kids, your friends, and your legacy are waiting on you to fight for them. They want you to be great. Don’t Settle.

Late last week, my wife Lisa came down with some cold/flu thing so we swung by our nearest Redbox to pick up a movie. What we ended up with is the ultra chick-flick “Letters to Juliet.” Other than being your typical, predictable film, it was cute.

Then something unexpected happened. Toward the end of the movie, one of the characters said something that knocked me upside the head:

“What” and “if” are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But, put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.

If you want to create a life you’re proud of, build a legacy, and live a life with few regrets, you need to wrestle with the “What if” questions right now. Here’s a tip: read them as if you’re at the end of your life looking back. Then ask yourself what you can change in your life today. I’ve broken them into categories to make it easier to think about the different areas of your life.

Warning: You will ask these questions eventually. Better now than when it’s too late to do anything about them.

Career
What if you started that business you dreamed about for years?
What if you made your living doing something that made you feel alive?
What if money were no object? What would you do?
What if you could answer that question with, “I’m already doing it”?
What if your unemployment was really just an opportunity to try something new?
What if you didn’t accept that “this is how life works”?
What if you didn’t spend 2 weeks each year escaping from the work you do the other 50?
What if you found a job that combined your strengths and passions?
What if you spent less time in front of the TV?

Risk/Fear
What if you didn’t care what other people thought of you?
What if you acted in spite of your fear?
What if you said “Yes” when fear told you to say “No”?
What if you said “No” when fear told you to say “Yes”?
What if you didn’t quit?
What if you did quit?
What if you failed knowing that at least you tried?
What if you didn’t fail?
What if you didn’t learn from your failures?
What if they laughed at you?
What if they gave you a standing ovation?
What if you tried out for that team or applied for that position?
What if they say no?
What if they say yes?

Relationships/Family
What if you worked as hard on your marriage as you do in your job?
What if you spent more time with your kids and less time with your work?
What if you made the phrase “I love you” part of your daily life?
What if you called your parents more often?
What if you said, “I’m sorry”?
What if you said, “I forgive you”?
What if you said, “Thank you”?
What if you did something unexpected for someone you love, just because?
What if you did something for someone who couldn’t give you anything in return?
What if your memories were filled with more laughter than tears?
What if you cared as much about others as you do about yourself?

Health
What if you exercised just 20 minutes each day?
What if you quit smoking?
What if you lost weight?
What if you ate better?

Finances
What if you had no debt?
What if you spent less money?
What if you saved more money?
What if you gave more of your money?
What if you cut up your credit cards and consumed less?
What if you paid for things with only cash?
What if you didn’t measure your success by how much money you made or stuff you had?

Spirituality
What if you prayed more and worried less?
What if there is a God?
What if that God loves you?

Live Without Regrets

What if you could do it all over again?
What if these questions weren’t filled with regrets?

What if you got to the end of your life and never wondered, “What if?”

It’s better to ask, answer, and act on the “What if” questions now rather than wait until you’re older or until you’re told you have just a short time to live. We can’t go back and change what’s been done. But we can learn from the past and change how we move forward.

Don’t settle. Don’t accept status quo. Don’t wonder, “What if…?” It takes courage. But your family, your friends, the world, and your legacy are waiting on you to live with courage.

Photo courtesy of fadedmilkyway

[Note to the grammar police: I know that the sign in the image should say "You're Fired." I don't care - I like the photo.]

One of the benefits that comes from writing about entrepreneurship is hearing from people who are making it happen. Some of the best stories are those where a person got laid off or fired and then, instead of going out and getting a J-O-B, they started their own business.

They usually have a twinkle in their eyes when they recount the story. They refer to a “weight being lifted” from their shoulders. They feel like they’ve “come alive.” Most say they make more money now then when they were back at their corporate gigs.

One of the most popular posts on this blog is from my friend Amber Khan who has one of those success stories.

Why Wait to be Fired?

Then I got to thinking. Why do so many people wait until they’re fired or laid off before they launch their own business? Why didn’t they quit that job they hated and fire their boss?

I know that fear is an obvious answer. But I think it’s more than that. Some people just don’t know how to quit. To them, quitting seems overwhelming because they’ve not taken the steps to be ready for it.

You Should Quit At Least Once in Your Life

Unless you’re one of those rare few who’ve never had a job (I’m looking at you, Chris Guillabeau), you’ve likely found yourself in some miserable position that sucks the life out you like a teenage vampire named Edward. Maybe you’re there right now.

I found myself there a few times. Too often though, I tried to stick it out. I rationalized that things would “get better when _______________.” Unfortunately, “when” never came.

The reality is that even if it did get better, it will never become great. You make the mistake that better than crappy is good enough since it’s an improvement. You settle.

Don’t ever settle. Why?

Quitting Can Make You Happier and Wealthier

This may surprise you, but unhappy people generally have less fun and make less money. Let that sink in.

Happiness and wealth don’t follow miserable people around begging for a chance to sulk with them. They actually don’t follow people around. Happiness and wealth have to be pursued.

It’s difficult to pursue happiness and wealth when you make a habit of settling for crappy positions that you hope will improve.

3 Steps to Firing Your Boss

So what do you need to do to fire your boss so that you can pursue something that fulfills you? Here’s a quick-start guide:

Step 1: Prepare

Prepare for the change in income. If you’re going to open that consultancy you’ve been dreaming about or start that home-based business, find ways to lay the groundwork before you quit.

When you’re laid off, you often don’t have this luxury. However, those who are gainfully (even if miserably) employed can do some initial prep-work before launching full time. Here are some recommendations to get you started:

Start the Business on Your Nights, Weekends and Lunch Breaks
Tell everyone you know (that can’t get you fired) what you’re doing. Get some initial clients and work out those startup kinks. This is a great way to test the waters and find out if you even like the work.

You’ll hear some people talk about trying to get their side business income to the level of their current position before they quit. While this is a fine goal, don’t be surprised if it proves to be more difficult than you planned. Time and energy are finite and certain businesses can only grow so large with part-time effort.

If you find that your nights, weekends, and lunch breaks have you to 40-50% of your salary, it may be time to quit. Ask yourself if you think a full-time focus on your business could get you up near (or above) 100% in a month or two.

Get Out of Debt and Build Up Your Savings

“Opening a business with debt is like trying to run a marathon with a loaded backpack on.” – Dave Ramsey

If you want to be successful at running your own business, you must learn to say “no” to yourself. Debt comes from saying “yes” too often. Climbing out of debt will give you the discipline you need to run a business on a budget.

Also, make sure you can survive through those lean months with a nice cushion built up in savings. Dave Ramsey recommends 3-6 months and I agree with him.

Step 2: Uncover Your Passion

Part of the reason we end up in positions we hate is because we chase money rather than pursue our passion. Money is important – but it’s not the only thing that should determine what you do with your life.

Use this foundation-laying time to discover what makes you come alive. What are your interests? Which activities do you participate in that cause time to fly at work?

There are great resources that can help you get started. I recommend the StrengthsFinder series along with Dan Miller’s book 48 Days to the Work You Love. They will get you thinking differently about your career path.

Step 3: Pull the Trigger (In a Non-Postal Way)

If you’ve taken the two steps above, you’re ready to pull the trigger. Here’s a tip: try not to burn bridges. I’ve watched people quit in over-the-top fashion just because they could.

Sure, it may make you an internet celebrity for a week, but remember that your reputation as a person of character is much more important. No matter how bad it was at the company, be gracious and look for win-win opportunities.

You’re about to leave them with a void in their team and this can be an opportunity for you. I was able to contract back to previous employers for varying lengths which helped smooth transitions for me financially.

Share Your Thoughts

If you’ve ever quit a job that sucked the life out of you, how did you feel after you made the decision? What tips would you offer to those who are thinking of doing the same?

If you’re stuck in a rut or a job you don’t love, what steps are you having the most difficulty with? Why are you staying put?

I’d love to get your thoughts below.

Photo credit: maisonbisson

“Hey, you’re the same age as Jesus was when he died!”

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday and the person who said that to me got me thinking about what turning “Jesus’ age” means.

No, there’s no mid-life crisis and I haven’t raced out to buy a convertible Corvette. But it’s sometimes good to think about what we’ve learned over the course of a lifetime.

I like to think about what I would tell myself if I could travel back in time to when I was in my early 20’s. Here are three lessons I would give myself.

Lesson #1: Bad Goals Are Always Disguised as Good Goals

If you set a goal for your life, you generally do so with the best of intentions. But good intentions don’t always lead to good goals. In fact, they can lead to just the opposite.

When I was in my early 20’s, I set a goal for myself that I would be a millionaire by 30. On the surface, this sounds like a good goal. After all, doing so would require me to work hard, make smart decisions with our money, live below our means, and to do all of the other things becoming a millionaire requires.

So what’s bad about this goal?

• It puts the emphasis on the wrong side of the equation. Because my focus was on the money, I ended up making bad decisions during that period of my life.
• I chose a career based on money rather than passion. I hated so much of my 20’s because I dreaded going to work each day. I was burning out very quickly.
• I became a workaholic. I spent too many years working 80+ hours each week. I neglected my wife Lisa, our family, and our friendships. As a result, I nearly lost my marriage.
• I didn’t take care of my health. By the time I was 26, my cholesterol was 351 (very bad), I was overweight, and I developed shingles due to stress. The final straw was when (at 31) I developed a severe case of vasculitis.

So how can you ensure that your goals are actually good for you? You evaluate the underlying assumptions.

I assumed that becoming a millionaire by 30 would make my life better than doing it by 35, 40 or even 50. Becoming a millionaire is a fine goal. However, the minute I put the “by 30” timeframe on it, I forced myself to make short-term sacrifices that would harm me in the long-run.

What good is being a 30-year-old millionaire if you’re overweight, burnt-out, and divorced?

If your goals require you to sacrifice things that you know are good for something you think might be good, it’s a bad goal.

Lesson #2: Life Moves Quickly, But This Isn’t a Race

When I was 6, Christmas took forever to roll around. A week was like a month. Now, I look up and it’s the end of August. It seems like just yesterday that I was freezing my butt off in January.

I know I sound like an old fart with this one, but I don’t care. It’s true. The more life advances, the more quickly it moves.

This can lead to the feeling that we need to hurry up: “Time is running out and I need to get a move on with my goals and my plans and my future. After all, look at the Jones’ over there – they already have 2.5 kids, a BMW, and a 5 bedroom house mortgage.”

The feeling like you’re in a race against time with your life is based on the assumption that certain things are “supposed to happen” at certain times.

• I should be married by 28
• I should own a home by 30
• I should have 2 kids by 35
• My 30s are my “earning years”
• I want to retire by 50

And on it goes. But all of those make false assumptions of how life should work that aren’t based in anything other than tradition and the expectations of others.

This isn’t to say that you should lazily meander through life. On the contrary, you need to set goals and pursue your dreams.

But, if you race through life always trying to get to the next level, you’re going to wake up one day and realize that it was all in vain and you won’t be able to get any of the time back. And that’s what you’ll get if you chase arbitrary, cultural targets.

Generally, our biggest regrets in life don’t come from doing things we shouldn’t have done. They come from not doing the things we know we should have.

Lesson #3: Never Settle

Too many people settle for a mediocre existence rather than pursue a meaningful life.

How do I know? Because the average American watches 4 hours of TV per day. If you’re settling for a life of mediocre existence, you will find ways to distract yourself from that awful feeling deep down inside of you that your life lacks true meaning and purpose. You will want to disconnect from the “real world.”

Instead of pursing our passions, we watch reality shows like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance where we can sit on the sidelines of life and live vicariously through others who are doing what we’re afraid to.

If you only learn one thing before you turn 33, please learn this one: never settle. Never stop dreaming.

I’ve found my meaning through my faith, my family, my friends and my pursuit of my passion.

Share Your Lessons

If you could travel back in time, what lessons would you give to yourself?

There are a lot of people who talk about “one day” owning their own business. Yet, very few people actually end up even trying it. Why?

Usually it’s because they’ve chosen to believe one or more lies about starting a business. There are 7 common lies that people are telling themselves right now that will keep them from changing their dream of entrepreneurship into a set of goals they can accomplish.

Lie #1 – It’s Too Risky In Today’s Economy

Without a doubt, our current economic situation sucks. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start a business. In fact, starting a business during an economic downturn may be one of the best things you can do.

Why?

• Your job is likely not as safe as you think it is. After all, layoffs increase during times of economic uncertainty. Right? Why not put yourself in the driver’s seat rather than depend on someone else for a paycheck?
• It will force you to prioritize your spending. If you can operate a profitable business in an economic downturn, you can do it during times of economic boom.
• Competition decreases during crappy economic times. It’s sad but true. A lot of companies go out of business in a downturn. Regardless of the reason, this creates opportunity for someone who is talented and willing to work hard to take on clients from failing companies.
• It’s cheaper to start a business during a downturn. With so many businesses going under right now, it’s a great time to pick up needed items at an auction or on Craigslist. You can also negotiate better deals with potential vendors right now.

Here’s a fun fact: roughly half of the Dow Jones 30 were started during a recession. Now may be a great time to start that business you’ve been talking about.

Lie #2 – I Don’t Have Enough Time

How was last night’s episode of Gossip Girl? How insane was that Yankees game? OMG…did you see the preview for the next episode of Glee?

• The average American watches nearly 4 hours of TV per day.
• 49% of Americans say they watch too much TV.
• 98% of households in the US have at least 1 TV.
• 34% have 2.

You have the time. You just have to claim it from the other distractions in your life. If TV isn’t the problem, you may be working too many hours for someone else doing something you hate. This was my problem for too many years. I made a lot of money doing work I didn’t enjoy so that I could buy stuff I didn’t need.

Lie #3 – I Can’t Afford To Quit My Job

Who said you have to quit your job to start a business? Most businesses are started during nights and weekends. Feel like you don’t have enough time on nights and weekends? See Lie #2 above.

Oftentimes, it’s not an income problem that people have – it’s a spending problem. Their cost of living has risen to – or more likely above- their income.

So how can you prepare for being able to quit your job? Here are some things you can do to get ready:

• Save up 6 months of living expenses in a money market account.
• Create a budget for both the business and your household. Figure out how much money your business will need to make in order for you to survive.
• Get out of debt and stay out of debt. It’s a lot easier to start a business if you don’t have to worry about creditors knocking down your door.
• Practice living on less before you have to start living on less. It’s a habit you have to learn. There is not magic “live within my means” pill.

Lie #4 – It Takes Too Much Money To Start a Business

There are a lot of businesses that can be started on less than $1,000, $5,000 or even $10,000 dollars. You just have to start thinking differently about how you’re going to do it.

First, start small and then scale up. You don’t need to go lease a storefront just because you want to own “the best hotdog joint in town.” Instead, start by renting a cart and setting up shop on a busy street in the financial district downtown. Try out different recipes while minimizing exposure. Figure out if people even like your hotdogs.

Then, if things are going well, begin planning for expansion into a bigger market. Figure out how much money it will take to purchase your own cart. Start saving to buy one without financing it. Once you own your own cart, begin socking money away to buy another cart (in cash) and hire an employee to run it. Keep up this process until you own enough carts that you’re making enough money to open your storefront without going into debt.

Too many people use borrowed money such as credit cards, home equity, and personal loans to finance the opening and/or growth of their business. This is stupid. Figure out how to start smaller with less exposure and risk. It will keep you making smarter decisions because you won’t be able to buy things you can’t afford.

Lie #5 – I Don’t Know Anything About Running a Business

Neither do a lot of people when they start a business and it shouldn’t stop you from starting one.

Don’t get me wrong – you need to learn about running a business. But there are a lot of free or low-cost resources available to you:

• Ask friends and family who have started a business to act as advisors and mentors.
• Contact SCORE. They offer free small business advice and mentoring in-person and online.
• Visit your local library and become and avid reader of business books.
• Find and read blogs on business development, sales, marketing, freelancing, etc.

If you’re starting small and part-time as I suggest, you’ll have time to learn about running a business as you do it. It will take a lot of the pressure off of having to know it all up-front.

Lie #6 – I’ll Go Out on My Own When …

…my kids are out of the house.
…I retire.
…I blah, blah, blah.

No. You most likely won’t. Excuses like these are generally made out of fear. Starting a business can be a frightening thought. So rather than admit the fear and confront it, people mask it behind “sensible” statements such as these. They tell themselves that it would be unwise to do it right now.

These statements meet two needs:

• We don’t want to admit we’re scared, so we tell ourselves and others that we’re going to do it…just…down the road. It keeps the dream alive – even if only on life support.
• It makes us sound reasonable in our fear. After all, who doesn’t want to sound reasonable? Nobody wants to be seen as rash or foolish. This type of excuse enables us to lie to ourselves and others while maintaining a bit of self-respect.

Lie #7 – I Don’t Know What Kind of Business to Start

I think that most people have an idea of what kind of business they would start, they just don’t want to admit it in any other capacity than as a fantasy.

What do I mean by that?

Have you ever played the game with friends where you answer the question “What would you do if money weren’t an object?” Of course. We’ve all done it. And it’s fun because it’s “safe.” It’s all fantasy because, of course, money is an object. So we talk about our fantasy of starting our own sports memorabilia store, wedding photography business, bakery, PR agency, non-profit, etc.

The problem is that when we relegate our passions to the world of fantasy, we no longer see them as potentially viable businesses. We assume that something we’re passionate about can’t possibly make money. It just seems too good to be true that we could actually do something we love and provide for our families.

If you know how to answer that question in a cocktail party setting, then you know what kind of business to start. Now, granted, the business may take on a different form than in your money-is-no-object fantasy. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the above steps to make it happen.

Share Your Thoughts

Are any of these lies stopping you from starting a business?

If you’ve already started your business, which lie did you struggle with the most? Should I have added additional lies to the list?

I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below.

About a month ago, I read a post by Justin Kownacki that discussed the challenges inherent in being a freelancer and why we need people we’re not in business with to hold us accountable.

As someone who’s self-employed, you’ll inevitably face bouts of crappy productivity and you’ll feel like banging your head against a wall. In my own life, those times generally occur when I let others set my priorities for me. When that happens, I’m extremely busy but not necessarily effective. The goal then is to proactively set your priorities and let the rest fall where it may.

Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. So I took Kownacki’s advice and contacted a friend of mine (Justin Davis) who lives in the area and asked if he wanted to meet every Monday for coffee to set goals, challenge each other and provide a level of business accountability.

Thankfully he agreed and the experience has been more beneficial than I could have imagined. I really enjoy and look forward to this time each week – a sure sign that it’s working. Not to mention you’re reading this post because he forced me to get back on track with my blogging.

Here are five modifications we’ve made to Kownacki’s accountability idea and why they’ve been important in our success.

Share the Same Core Values

I can’t stress how important it’s been for us that we share certain core values. Now, you don’t need to be clones of one another. In fact, you shouldn’t be. You want differing opinions and approaches. However, you want to know the advice your getting is generally going to be aligned with your beliefs about life and business. I don’t want someone who’s a workaholic giving me advice on my work/life balance.

Be On the Same Level

I think mentors are great. Everyone should have at least one mentor in their life. However, this is not that. This is accountability. This is learning from and pushing each other while in the trenches. Justin is not my mentor and I am not his. We each give and take advice equally in our meetings. We banter, dialogue and share victories and frustrations without getting preachy. Neither of us want to be the teacher or the student during this time.

Don’t Rush the Meeting

Originally, I proposed an hour for the meeting “to be respectful of time.” To my surprise, Justin suggested two hours. It was a great suggestion. We generally only spend about 15-20 minutes reviewing and discussing our goals. The rest of the time is spent sharing and encouraging each other. The extra time allows us to fully explore topics without feeling pressured to cut it short. As is usually the case, the most insightful and impacting parts of the conversation occur beyond the 1-hour mark as the conversation builds on itself. It’s like an avalanche. What starts small builds into something powerful.

This is Not Water Cooler Time

If you want to talk about your favorite sports team or American Idol, go somewhere else. The entire point of this time is to talk about business. That’s it. If you’re self-employed, there will always be plenty to discuss. You’ll always have challenges. You’ll always have opportunities. Be willing to refocus the conversation if a tangent forms.

Learn Together

In the second meeting, Justin and I decided to read a book together and discuss how to apply what we’re reading. The reading plan isn’t intense – a chapter a week. We’re focused on depth. We each respond to different things in the book and we’ve found ways to help each other as a result. Rotate who picks the book each time as you’ll likely learn something new as a result.

Bonus Thought: Be About Each Other’s Success

As I was wrapping up, I thought of this last point. This time isn’t about what I can get out of it. It’s about what I can give. I want to help Justin and he wants to help me. We share ideas. We want to help each others’ businesses grow. This isn’t a zero-sum game. If anyone in the group can’t be excited and supportive of another’s success, give them the boot. I don’t want that negativity and unhealthy competition in my life. Cheer each other on and celebrate each other’s victories.

We’ve discussed bringing others into the meeting. Whether we do or not hasn’t been decided. Neither of us want it to get diluted and any additions have to be 100% agreed on. The small size allows for intense focus. However, another person or two could add benefit through additional perspectives, backgrounds and connections without having to sacrifice much.

Questions: Do you have people to keep you accountable? If so, share in the comments what works. If not, what’s holding you back?