Travis Robertson

Most people, most of the time, are not consciously aware of what they are thinking about – yours truly included.

At the same time, you know the impact that your thoughts can have on you. You can become depressed, angry, frustrated, lonely, disappointed, fearful, worried, sad, and doubtful – just to name a few.

On the positive side, some thoughts can make you smile, laugh out loud, feel a sense of pride, cause you to relax, make you feel confident, or – in the case of passing by a McDonald’s – make you crave an ice cold Coke.

The majority of the time, your thoughts directly control how you are feeling at any given moment – regardless of whether you are consciously aware of it or not.

As some of you know, Lisa and I recently took custody of my soon-to-be-12-year-old cousin and are raising him as our son. We couldn’t be more excited. He’s a great kid and he’s fitting in really well with us.

At the same time, we didn’t raise him for those first 11 years and he has patterns in how he thinks and how he speaks that are the antithesis of what we as a family believe and operate under. I don’t blame him for the things he was exposed to and the habits he developed prior to coming to live with our family. However, we do expect him to take full responsibility for his thoughts, choices, and actions moving forward.

He can’t change what happened to him, but he can choose how he responds to it and he can choose how he lives from here forward.

It’s that time of year: New Years. On one hand, it’s filled with excitement as we set out our goals for the year (please tell me you’re setting goals and NOT resolutions). If you’re like most people, you’ll start strong. You’ll be filled with renewed energy and resolve to finally take the steps toward accomplishing that elusive goal.

• You’re going to start that business.
• You’re going to go for that promotion.
• You’re going to start dating again.
• You’re going to hire that new employee.
• And so on…

But then something happens. “Reality” sets in and you begin to wonder if you’re really ready to take that next step.

Hello. My name is Travis Robertson and I’m a control freak. But I’m not alone.

You’re a control freak too.

Control is a funny thing. We usually associate control with certain personality types. We say that someone has a “dominant personality type” or that they are a “control-freak.” We may even describe ourselves this way.

It’s the final few weeks of the year and most of us are focused on all the stuff we have to get done for the coming holidays. There’s shopping, cooking, planning, travel, parties, and creating “strategic avoidance plans” for people you’d rather not see.

I used to treat December like the night before a big test and try to cram in everything I didn’t do in the previous 11 months. As a result, I’d often dread December and the holiday. Even though the Christmas season is my favorite time of year, I’d get depressed, burnt out, and frustrated. I just couldn’t enjoy it.

The end of the year can be a difficult time for many people. For others, it can be a time of reflection that helps them pave the way for a successful new year. I want you to make it the latter.

Self-doubt is paralyzing. It will cripple you and prevent you from taking action or moving forward.

To render someone ineffective, you don’t have to get them to change the core of their beliefs – you just have to get them to doubt the validity of their beliefs. Let me give you an example.

“It’s not my fault!”

Anyone who’s spent even a small amount of time around kids – and, sadly, most adults – has heard those words used as a way of trying to shift blame to someone else. But the reason people try to shift fault has little to do with the actual blame for the event.

Instead, what they’re really trying to do is excuse themselves from the responsibility for taking action moving forward.

Don’t confuse fault with responsibility. The ability to understand the difference empowers you to move from a state of victim-hood to a state of victory in life.

Let me explain.

Too often, we “try to do better” in an area of life. The problem is that trying won’t get us any closer to our goals. Only training will do that.

Let me explain. If you want to run a marathon (26.2 miles), “trying” will not get you there. If you woke up every morning and tried to run 26.2 miles, you’d fail at it every time you tried.